Chinese Reassured by Serb President

China and Serbia flag pinsTo the great relief of the Chinese people, Serbian President Tomislav Nikolić declared that it was “ok” by him if the Chinese “look different from us.” The remark was made during an interview with China’s Xinhua news agency.

As a result of this reassuring statement, plans for the People’s Plastic Surgery Campaign (in which all 1.39 billion Chinese would be altered to look like President Nikolić) have officially been put on indefinite hold.

The President, moreover, went on to congratulate the Chinese on their becoming a superpower. Nikolić, who presides over a population which could be comfortably accommodated in the Pudong district of Shanghai, gave the country a big thumbs-up for that. It is easy to imagine the satisfaction and pride of Chinese President Xi Jinping that Serbia approves of his country’s status.

According to some sources, Nikolić received special treatment because “he was the first to respond to the invitation” to come to China. The President’s staff is apparently always thrilled when they can send him abroad. The same sources also noted that the US presence was limited to a few low-level observers. Although they did not actually say “nah nah nah-NAH nah”, the message seemed implicit.

Falling short of appearing condescending, President Nikolić went on to say that Serbia stood up for China when “China had been a very poor, underdeveloped country.” He noted that the two peoples were a lot alike and that neither had never led “campaigns of conquest and subversion but had always been targets of those who had been doing that.” China and Serbia – brothers in victimization.

The search for President Nikolić’s official speechwriter, whose absence has led to the President’s use of his own thoughts when travelling, is ongoing.

But sources close to the investigation are not optimistic.

Follow Chris’ regular blog, The Standard Deviation

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